Count My Blessings

Many times I wonder how faithful or rather how real Lord Jesus is. Was it because my faith in Jesus became weak? Or was it that I have started to lose hope in Him who exists? Or was it due to my missing of my dad?

Most of the time when I'm alone, I felt that a large part of me is missing. And that missing part is always related to my dad. I'm truly amazed with my mom who took it well. Guess after all her years of enduring my dad? Or perhaps it's really the Lord who gave her the ultimate strength? I missed sms-ing him with messages to tell him I love him, to tell him that I'll buy dinner for him, to share with him about my day, etc.. I missed listening to his stories of his younger days. Or rather I missed arguing with him..

The problem of being too close to someone tends to make our hearts yearn for the person's presence once again after he/she has left on a new journey. But if one is not being close to our own family member, it feels like as though we have not done our part as son/daughter to love the other person when he/she is still with us. No doubt that my dad has gone on his new adventure, many times I wonder where he is, how's he doing, what's he doing, and main thing is he really still alive spiritually? I won't know the answer till I go back to Heaven. If I don't see him there, can I ask Daddy God for my dad to be with me in Heaven? There are so many questions that will be left unanswered until I'm home with Jesus.

I remember having played a game with my friend and one of the questions asked "If there is a wall, what way will I use to go over to the other side of the wall?" Well, my answer is walking to the end of the wall and then turn to the other side. But, how far is it to the end of the wall? I visualised an extreme long journey to the end of the wall (juz like the Great Wall of China?).

It's just a picture to indicate how long it'll take me to get over to the other side of the wall.. Perhaps a very long time in which I've no idea.. Sometimes, I also wonder why love can be so painful to such extent? I was also wondering why was it that I'm always the last person to know of some things that happened at home? How very unfair! However, I still want to thank God that everything is peaceful and nothing bad will happen anymore, as all of us are already in Christ (including my sis-in-law and brother). That is to say, the entire Yeow family is saved.

Each time when I started to fade and lose hope, I started to count my blessings that Daddy God had graciously granted to me.
Blessing #1 - a wonderful dad and mom who strived so hard as one flesh, to bring up both my brother and I,
Blessing #2 - a wonderful sis-in-law whom I can really teased and shared my heart with,
Blessing #3 - two wonderful kids at home to keep my mom occupied and also to bring fun and laughter in the family,
Blessing #4 - never to forget my 2 lovable friends who had been with me throughout this time, having to endure my grouchiness.. Praise Jesus for them..
Blessing #5 - a job to keep my mind busy,
Blessing #6 - a close friend who has also been keeping me in her prayer,
Blessing #7 - able to breathe every second,
Blessing #8 - able to walk, run, jump,
Blessing #9 - able to listen to sermons, music, voices, noises, etc,
Blessing #10 - able to have time with my mom,
Blessing #11 - able to feel, taste, and smell,
Blessing #12 - very important, having Lord Jesus as my Ultimate Savior and Friend,
Blessing #13 - able to serve in church,
Blessing #14 - have the chance to read the bible and know more about Lord Jesus,
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The list of blessings can never end coz our Father in Heaven never ceases to love us with His Love, to shower us with His tender loving care and kindness, to grant us with His favour every day, to bless us with His abundant blessings, etc..

Daddy God, despite of my doubts about your existence, You still love me as who I am, and what I am. You do not see me in my own self being, but You see me in Christ Jesus. That His Blood had washed me completely of all my sins, that He died my death, that He took all the punishments that were meant for me, that He bore all the sicknesses that were meant for me, all the curses that He took on my behalf. Daddy God, nothing of myself is worthy of Your attention but You took time to pay attention to my needs and my calls for You. You love me so much that You won't want to see me cry. You have been containing all my tears in Your Tear-Bottle and You will never let a single drop of my tears to waste. Lord Jesus, I just don't know what to do but to depend on You. I've no choice but to cast all my cares, all my pains, all my worries, all my problems to You. I don't know how to deal with issues in life but You know how to resolve every single one of them for me. I don't know how, I don't know when but I do know You can and You will solve everything for me and my family. Lord Jesus, unto You, I cast everything for Your attention and Your action. Thank You Jesus. I don't care how You do it, I just know You will solve them for me. You know what they are and I don't need to spell out every single one of them. Daddy God, as Jesus is in Heaven right now, so am I on earth. He is my Righteousness, my Understanding, my Wisdom, my Provider, my Healer and literally my Everything. There's nothing I can hold in my hands, and You can hold them all in Your Mighty Hands. Who can go against You, who is the Almighty One? Daddy God, unto You, my soul, body and mind rest. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen..