Monday, August 26, 2013

Why does Jesus touched the blind man's eyes TWICE @ Bethsaida?

Mark 8:22-25 --> Why does Jesus touched the blind man's eyes TWICE at Bethsaida?

22 They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. 23 He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man's eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, "Do you see anything?" 24 He looked up and said, "I see people; they look like trees walking around." 25 Once more Jesus put his hands on the man's eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. 26 Jesus sent him home, saying, "Don't go into the village. " 

My tots over this passage -->
1st time Jesus had spit on the man's eyes and put His hands upon him, the man was able to see but it was a blurry image - seeing people that look like trees.. That tickles me, coz my imagination went a little wilder.. But how does he know people and trees look like?
2nd time Jesus put His hands on the man's eyes again, and the man's sight was restored.

What I can derive from here is that because eyes are related to seeing, and seeing is related to revelation. Having his eyes opened, he is able to see the Word of God is alive (Jesus is the Word of God). Next, Jesus asked him if he's seeing anything? Somehow, something must have gone on within him that he started to believe, though he saw the people look like trees in the very first instance. It was somewhat like a 60-fold healing when he spoke forth, believing in his heart, and he's also receiving a revelation. THEN Jesus put His hand on the man's eyes again and the man looked [INTENTLY - as stated in AMP bible] before he was restored and saw everything distinctly.

I believe that the man had his eyes so fixated onto Jesus first - seeing Him as the Messiah and his heart changed toward Jesus Himself. That was when he was fully restored with perfect vision!
So, when we fix our eyes on Jesus Himself, we can see that all our problems will be fixed, and restoration will come and finally ABLE TO SEE THE GOODNESS OF GOD's HEART AND DIRECTION IN OUR LIVES.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Overwhelming peace

It had been another season of big struggle and a decision to make whether to take on a new job or simply trust God in His directions.  This morning, my heart was so down and out that I wished that I don't have to make any decisions.  My faith had been so minuscule to the point that it can't be detected at all.  I was thinking back of all the events that happened and how God had really touched in my life, I can't simply ignore what He had been wanting me to go into.  I think I'm one of those who have been testing God so much to the point that He may get so irritated and wanted to just shake my head and say, HEY!! WAKE UP!!!

Instead, Daddy God had been so loving, soft and silent in His confirmations and He brought out so much beauty in His confirmations for me. I was like asking for so many confirmations and still asking for more confirmations. 

This morning was a crunching moment to decide what I wanted to do and weigh what I love to do.  I don't like anything that will bound me down and making me so lifeless after that.  It's not the life that God had wanted me either.  He had always been trying to tell me that things will be alright and just trust Him.  Perhaps it had been one of those struggles that I had in life that made me totally lost all confidence and trusts - endless betrayals and back-stabbings, etc.. I was like why in the world am I going thru these.

I knew I'm being marked out for something and I seriously have no idea what I'm being marked out for.  I only know that I don't take "No" for an answer and kept barging in for an answer.  Oh.. I've gone out of my tots now and back to my main topic..

This morning, I took the step of faith to walk into God's direction and not pursuing the things of man.  I've decided to pursue God and His Goodness (though I'm kindda blur blur in acknowledging it many times).  God says that I'm a simple girl and wants simple things.  Yes, coz He made me so.  And I only love simple things coz in my world and vision, I want to see things in a simple and plain manner.  Anyway having made that decision, I felt a surge of overwhelming peace within.  My colleague who is also a strong believer, shared with me about Rebecca and how the peace came about after her decision to follow the unnamed Servant.

The unnamed Servant here now in my situation is the Holy Spirit and He had been nudging in my heart to follow Jesus and and God's directions.  Henceforth, my decision is to follow Jesus and I trust that He will take care of everything for me.  It was the same overwhelming peace that I had in March 2013 when I told Daddy God that I will put down the potential business income that can provide for my mom and trust in Him to provide everything.

Ahhh.. now that i see, the devil is using my mom as the point to stop me from moving in God's direction. In Jesus name, my mom is fully protected and nothing by any means shall harm her. Coz Lord Jesus paid the price for her and me.  We shall reign in life together and we shall have the most rewarding and fulfilling life that God has given to us.

Thank you Holy Spirit..  Thank you so much.. I love you, Daddy God. I love you Lord Jesus and I love you too, Holy Spirit...

Amen!

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Blessings and protection in the midst of torrential storms - Part 1

Dad has been really cool!! About His Protection and Provisions...

This year had been filled with quite some strong torrential storms but thank God for arming me with His Word, that nothing shall be any means harm me or my family.  I was thinking through alot this year and always wondered what am I here for on earth?  For once, I noticed that I didn't know God as much as I thought I had. 

I started to question God about Himself and what does He want to do with me in my life?  I've ranted at Him and refused to remember what He had done for me over the years in my career and personal life.  It was like a moment of not able to recall what happened since I was young and I told God, give me back my childhood days.

Things started to change 2 years ago after I left a job that gave me a lot of pains and hurts for 4 years.  Kindda felt rather so dumb about having toiled like a mad person and ended up all efforts actually came to nought with little or no recognition. Felt so devastated during then and my heart became so bitter to the point that I don't trust God anymore.

During the days after I left that job, I told myself that I shall not shed a tear over anything and I refused to shed any tears.  Apparently, it's  even more painful for not doing so, coz I'm bottling up all my pains within me. Ended up, my health deteriorated and my blood pressure shot up real high.

Many times, I wanted to just say goodbye to the world and ask Dad to bring me home coz I couldn't find any purpose to live a life here. I felt that life was so tough since childhood and wondered how come I still have to go through so much nonsense in life. I've questioned God many times and I can't seem to "hear" His answers.

I may have heard His answers but they never seem to etch deeply within me. I guess my mind was just ranting loudly and refused to quiet down to listen.  This is something that I had been doing - that is, not giving time to the Lord.  Till now, I'm still struggling with this and I really have no idea how to settle down quietly to listen to His voice.


to be continued.......

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Sustainability and protection - all for His love's sake

Last two weeks had been a week so filled with God's protection and sustainability.  I had a bout of food poisoning after ingesting some roach droppings that happened to be cooked together with the rice.  By the time I realised their existence in the rice, some of them had made their way into my stomach.  In my mind, I told myself that it will not affect me and my week.

True enough, it didn't adversely affect me throughout the entire week until the end of all the conference meetings and a wkend hi-tea gathering with Ps Corey (from Australia) and my group of blogger friends.  Daddy God, thank You for the protection during that entire week and keeping me with Your Strength.

Though the symptoms were minor during the conference meeting, they didn't stop my body from worshipping the Lord. The conference which I attended was "Releasing the Sound of Heavens" and it's all about praise and worship.

The entire conference was awesome with Ps Chris Dupree and Dan McCollam - having to learn about worshipping.  Probably will post it one day about the worshipping and the different kinds of worship.

Right after the conference meeting, my stomach started to churn a bit more with lotsa air running ard my digestive tracts.. But Dad sustained me all the way until the end of the gathering with Ps Corey and the bloggers @ Lime Restaurant for hi-tea.

When I reached home, fever started breaking out and all went loosed - bowels.. ugh... green, watery, blah blah blah.. sure signs of food poisoning... Had a short sms-ing time with my Rock Kids leader - Cheryl, and she told me to take Holy Comm.  I thank God for her who was placed in my life to remind me.

Right after taking the Holy Comm and some medications, i fell into a sleep - only to wake up abt 2 hrs later without any break from the fever.  I got pretty mad this time and I asked the Holy Spirit to fight this food poisoning immediately.  Amazingly, Dad.. the Holy Spirit fought the food poisoning immediately and the high fever broke right after the prayer. Still felt a little feverish and I took the last panadols to bring down the fever and slept through the night.

The next morning, the fever had gone leaving remnants of the food poisoning (i.e. rumbling stomach and solid state green bowels).. Still feeling the tiredness and boy.. my mom did got on my nerves.  Though I snapped at her in church, I didn't feel much pain except to feel annoyed by her nonsense...  Anyway, thank God that my grumpiness didn't last long and things went back normal after the service..  :P

Without any appetite for food and feeling nauseous, my stomach sure enjoyed the gummies!!  Had so much of the gummies that I felt so happy after that.. lol.. anyway, sugars are meant to make you happy esp when your stomach is so upset.. :P  Quite a way to cheer it up..

After the whole day in church, I decided to see the doctor for medications to restore the good bacteria in my tummy and I was given 2 days mc which I was like yay!! i can sleep more for the 2 days and really rest.

In essence after the whole week, I saw how Daddy God had been protecting me from the dreaded food poisoning and how He sustained me throughout the entire week to enjoy worshipping Him.  This seemed to be like a warfare but the only thing in my head tells me is, I don't give a hoot to what the devil is trying to do on me.  My God protects me with His shield, His Sword will just kill any evil that's trying to harm me, His Love will simply embrace me totally - like a child carried in His arms.

Thank You Dad for everything that through Lord Jesus Christ who died for me and sending the Holy Spirit to be my protector, healer, teacher, guidance and everything. In Jesus name, amen. =)

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Bless the Lord in ---> EVERYTHING

Psalm 103

As we are familiar with this Psalm, "Bless the Lord, O my soul and all that is within me, bless His Holy Name.", I always had this problem of blessing the Lord back in everything.  My mind is now having only the head knowledge but not the revelation of this Psalm.

However, it is never about me blessing the Lord.  It's about how Dad blesses us in everything.  He blesses us first, and in turn, He'll change our hearts to see His Goodness.  It's not about feelings or sensations.  It is a parched dry ground for me right now but I still believe that Dad has a greater blessing for me.

My eyes are not able to see the goodness of the Lord now,
My ears are not able to hear the goodness of the Lord now.
But the Lord will never stop His goodness from flowing into my life.

Dad, I can't rely on senses and feelings but to trust in You, that You are blessing my life and my family.  I do not know what is happening right now, but I just rest in this stillness and wait for You.  Even if I laze around at this moment, I guess it's a moment of rest for me AND to stop running/ barging aimlessly.  It's a time for me to stop, wait for You to take over me.  You will overtake my life and in this stillness, I'll rest under Your shades.

Dad,

Under Your wings, I seek refuge.
On Your Shoulders, You set me on high. 
You lift me up and soar like an eagle. 
An eaglet I am right now,
Waiting to be pushed beyond the cliff of impossibles.
And there, Your Wind will lift me higher
To the greater heights of impossibilities.

Holy Spirit, thank You for
healing me,
building me,
strengthening me,
molding me,
protecting me,
leading me, and
teaching me,
according to the Word of God.

Lord Jesus,
I see You as my Lord, not as a Rabbi. I want to worship You. You are my only Friend whom I can talk to, pour out my heart to, and You will always listen to my heart.   Lord Jesus, thank You for loving me. Thank You for blessing me, for embracing me, for protecting me.  Thank You for everything and making a "simple me". I love You, Lord Jesus.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Heaviness

Two days passed after the last conference (engaging the revelatory realm), my mind was just filled with mixed thoughts after that. The conference had changed me further - better? I have no idea.  As I journey on to seek the Lord, I just stay where I am right now - be still - and think of nothing else.  The night of ministering by Ps Steve Chua had given me a means of stepping forward to something more, i pray. 

my heart was kindda numb and yet heavy on the innermost. Been keeping my tots away from negativity and focus in Lord Jesus. Somehow i'm stifling something and refused to let go. My heart seemed to be sobbing real hard but no tears flowed. 

Lord, what's going on inside? I don't understand. My mouth couldn't open to say anything or utter anything. My mind is refusing to open my mouth. 

Lord Jesus, You are my Pain Killer - emotionally, physically and mentally. I don't know what to do anymore. I give up. 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Expectations out of the coming conference - Dr James Goll

Just another day to go to the start of another conference - Engaging the revelatory realm (by Dr James Goll). Had been waiting for this day to arrive and not exactly sure what to expect out of this conference yet.  Probably the 2nd day will be much clearer.

Dad, I know not what to expect out of this conference, but I do know that You have something in store for me out of this conference. I just want to remain in Your Presence throughout the entire conference and also to discern Your Ways for me in this new phase in life. 

Holy Spirit, fill my 3 days with the Presence of God and show me the Ways. You shall lead me and guide my heart. I'm going for this conference with expectations of receiving from the Lord and guide my heart in every part of the conference itself. 

Thank You Lord Jesus for this conference.  I wanna see more of You.
    

Friday, May 10, 2013

Evening session @ 3 nites of glory

it's the 2nd night at the conference - 3 nights of glory by joshua mills. the experience is interesting on the 1st night where gold dusts can be seen on my palms when Joshua Mills told us to lift up our hands into the holy presence. 

all of us were amazed and i was fascinated by the sparkles on my palm.. for a moment i was thinking if it's my sweaty palm.. 

it's 2nd night and i've made a prayer. And i also want to see more of the gold dusts.. if possible, gemstones too (since it had been recorded in Youtube)?

i do have some expectations tonite and i pray that i can see these expectations.

Daddy, settle my heart, okie?

Thursday, May 09, 2013

Reviving this blog and re-living new moments with Daddy..

It's been ages and I've long forgotten this blog site until early May 2013. I started to read all the past blogs and remembered the days with Daddy. I missed those days and wanted them back once again. It had been a long plunge from high grounds and it takes time to recover from the plunge. Slowly and steady, Daddy will lead me home - to the highest grounds. Whether I'm discerning correctly or not, it doesn't matter to me anymore. It's a one-step per day and allowing Daddy to hold me and carry me. Daddy, I missed Your Presence. I want to feel Your Presence again. Where You are leading me, I know not. Whether my prayers are answered, I know not either. I've lost numerous and is this the life You have for me? I want to start everything in life all over again and this time, You take the lead. At this moment, I just want You to embrace me, that's all.. Time to revive this blog page and this whole blog is dedicated to You alone, Daddy. Each post is going to be an account of all the blessings and encounters with You.